My sixteenth birthday (Now’s the bit when you shout OH MY GOD and realise you’ve forgotten to buy me a gift. That’s okay. Comment below saying “I’M A NAAB NUTTER”, even if you’re not, and I’ll love you anyway).
Anyway, now that I’m finally 16, the world has really opened up for me! There are so many things I can do now, that I couldn’t legally do yesterday!
1) Smoke. In Britain, 16 is the legal age for buying cigarettes- not that I’ll be using this privilege. I don’t want to damage my voice, and anyway, have you ANY idea how much cigarettes cost??
2) I can enter the lottery! And although I don’t want to make it a habit, I might enter it once today, just for kicks.
3) I can get MARRIED! This is GREAT, because I’ve already got the dress! It’s based on this girl called Tisha’s dress from Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, and it matches the seven tier cake I’ve ordered! Look out, guys, I’m on the prowl for a husband!!
4) I can legally have sex. Not that that’s any of your business, you nosy sods!
5) Now that I’ve reached 16, I can legally buy alcohol. Oh wait, only in Germany. OH HANG ON. I’m in Germany right now!
So that’s my 16th birthday planned- a lotter win, a wedding, a pint of the local Diebels beer, sex and a fag for afterwards!
Comment your birthday wishes for me, below- or alternatively, comment the best/worst birthday present you’ve ever received. I'm sure you've all got at least one hilarious anecdote about your birthdays! The worst gift I've ever gotten would probably be this toy on a chain thing that you're meant to attach to your phone. It was about twice the size of any phone I've ever seen, and I didn’t even own a mobile when I was given it!