With that classic proverb in mind, I'd like to talk about a product I bought recently! The Mooncup.
So Yolanda, what is a Mooncup?
It's a soft silicone cup, with measurements along the side, that you fold and insert into the vagina when you're on your period. It collects the blood, without mess, and when you think it's probably full, you pull it out, empty it into the loo, rinse it, and stick it back in.
And, um, how exactly am I supposed to get a silicone cup into my vagina?
It's kind of like using a tampon.
Basically, you fold the cup in half twice, and then stick it up your foof.
What, you just... up the...?
Yep, you just stick it right up there! You get the hang of folding and inserting it pretty quickly.
One amusing thing about this process: the soft silicone material means that the cup makes a weird little sucking noise as it expands and fits inside you. I'll admit that my eyes did widen when I first heard my Mooncup making the cry of a tiny pterodactyl, stuck in my vagina.
But does it hurt? Can you feel it once it's in?
On the first day, the stem at the bottom of the mooncup was a bit uncomfortable. I kept feeling like it was jabbing into/scraping against the inside wall of my vagina. But once I cut off about a centimetre of the stem (as the instructions say you might have to), I stopped even noticing that the Mooncup was in. Again, just like tampons.
On a scale of surgically sterilised to unmentionably disgusting, how gross was it?
I’m not going to lie here, wearing a Mooncup means you have to get a little more face to face with your period blood. Your best bet is to hover over the toilet while you pull it out. After that, you are left holding a little silicone cup of partially-congealed menstrual blood, which I imagine doesn’t appeal to everyone. But you tip the blood down the toilet and rinse any remaining blood off the cup, reinsert it, and you’re all good. It's really not very messy, unless (absolute nightmare situation) you were to drop it on the floor. So make sure you’re over a toilet. Do not drop it. Do not. Drop. It.
Duly noted. Keep a firm hold on that Mooncup. Did it leak?
A tiny bit, the first time I tried it. After that, no. It's got quite a big capacity, so I only had to change it every 5-6 hours.
The Mooncup has measurements on the side, so you know exactly how heavy/light your flow is! On Day One, I produced 16ml of menstrual blood. It feels strangely cool and exciting to know exactly how much you're bleeding! Other girls I spoke to agreed that for some unfathomable reason, it's kind of cool to know how much blood you're releasing. One even suggested Competitive Menstruation, which I think could be the next Big Thing in the sporting world.
For someone who cannot stand the annoying necessity of buying tampons, the Mooncup is a godsend. A mooncup costs around £20, so I reckon that after about 8 periods, I will be saving money, and the environment, by not buying tampons, or worse, pads (which, in my humble opinion, are disgusting, glorified nappies and should be wiped off the face of the earth).
I hope this review has been useful and interesting. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!