Recently, I experienced my first ‘proper’ loss; my grandma died unexpectedly in the summer. It was pretty horrible. Going through my first bereavement was always going to be difficult, but I think it probably didn’t help that I had always been very close to my grandma.
Well, her death came and went, so did her funeral, and the months passed by and now here I am. I feel like she’s missed so much- a lot has changed since July. Since she died, I’ve started doing things -like this blog, for example- that I wish I could tell her about. That’s what’s really awful about mourning. Sometimes you just forget about it. But only for a bit, and then the remembering comes. That’s probably one of the worst bits. When you realise, again, that someone you love has died.
It happens to me all the time. When I got a distinction at Grade 6 Classical Singing, my first thought was: I’ll call Nana and tell her the good news!
I suppose it’s probably sort of funny, in a way. Sobering, painful, unfortunate- but amusing. Well, I hope that someone out there is getting a kick out of my pain because I’m certainly not.
Anyway, sorry about being thoughtful and emotional today. I’ll be back to taking the mick and writing for laughs by tomorrow, I promise!
(P.S. In terms of 'having my head in the right place' for writing this, I think I did fairly well. I didn't cry, which is always a plus...)