I'm really not into tacky merchandise anyway, but this scary-looking pair are just laughable!
For starters, they're weird. And not in a cute way.
One eyed, vaguely bobble-headed, claws for hands- and the blue one (Mandeville) even has an unexplained stain on his crotch! They actually couldn't get more disfigured-looking if they tried.
And the worst thing is that these horrific little mutant blobs are supposed to represent Britain. I'm not sure what exactly it is about Britain that they represent (perhaps our incredible ability to create something absolutely terrible and then display it to the world, like a beaming child proudly showing its Mum a dog turd it found in the street), but the lovely Wenlock and Mandeville seem to be doing an excellent job of appearing basically everywhere at the moment.
Here are some of the weirdest examples.
This delightful piece of tat is an official London 2012 moneybox, with cartoons of our beloved Wenlock and Mandeville emblazoned on the front.
I find this hilariously ironic, as we're all going to be needing moneyboxes to count our pennies in once this extortionate event is over.
With that in mind, I reccomend you buy yours early- at only £10.00, this is a true bargain, and a priceless piece of merchandise!
Moving onto our second rather sinister piece of merchandise- just a simple backpack. What's wrong with that, you may ask?
Well, I don't know if you've noticed but it's got a giant freakin' eye on the front! It's really scary!
Maybe I'm alone on this one, but I'm seriously unnerved by the giant, dissaproving eye coming out of this rucksack. Too weird. Too weird!
Our mascots have also teamed up with the (already hilarious) "Official Olympic Treat" company, Cadbury in these kids' chocolate bars.
Cute right? Not really, considering Wenlock and Mandeville have been described as "scary terror sperm" by various tweeters across the world.
I hate to point it out, but vaguely sperm-shaped chocolate for kids? And a chocolate company sponsoring the world's biggest sporting event?
This wasn't well thought out...
But sometimes I can be too cynical. So if you disagree and actually LOVE Wenlock and Mandeville, make sure you comment, below! Oooh, and if you're not from Britain, I'm especially curious about your opinion on our Olympic mascots. Maybe they're being better received outside of the UK? Either way, comment below!